First, I would like to say that I in no way am anti-African relief efforts. I do not want there to be people in Africa suffering in the deplorable way that so many there are suffering.

Now, after that disclaimer, which, I want you to read before you make some comment calling me uncaring or cruel or lazy, I would like to know why it has become the thing to do to send our money to Africa, to send missionaries to African countries, to have large relief organizations to help people in the developing world, but it is not OK to help those people in our own country who are caught in vicious cycles of poverty and joblessness and abuse and who simply have never been taught what I was taught in my stable home.

Do I understand not wanting to allow the government to control our aid programs and the belief that the Church should take care of it? Absolutely. Do I think that there are people that abuse the system? Of course. Do I also understand that some people know nothing more than the system of aid and welfare and have no way to see their way out? Absolutely.

I don’t have a good, solid answer. I have a lot of questions about our motives. I have a lot of questions about seeing church parking lots full of luxury SUVs with the premise of “Well I did the work and it’s my money, so I’ll drive/live in/vacation at/etc. where I want to.” Didn’t God give you those things? Aren’t all good gifts, at least in my belief system, from God? Am I as guilty sometimes on a smaller scale? Absolutely. Did I answer anything for anyone today? Nope. Didn’t Jesus say to the rich man, “Sell all your possessions and give to the poor.” Yep. Do I do that? Nope. Am I just as bad as everyone else? Absolutely and therein lies the real purpose of this post. I want to do better, to be better and I want everyone to do better and be better. Even those people that aren’t like me, even those people who are not Christians.

I realize this post was poorly organized. I realize that probably a lot of people are going to be defensive and respond, or want to respond, with some sort of vitriol. That’s OK. I can take it. I wish you wouldn’t, but I can totally take it. What I wish, more than anything, is that we would all take some time to consider why we do things, who we help, and who we deem worthy of our help and who Jesus would help.

Some More Things I Like

Despite my occasional disillusionment and homesickness with and here in Oklahoma, I am going to attempt to focus on the things I like about being here. Because I’m good at making lists and because I enjoy reading lists, I think I shall continue to do them this way and if you don’t like it, tough toenails.

1. I like Wednesday night dinners with my family. Do we agree on politics? No, but we agree that football is worthwhile, that Arkansas should replace Baylor in the Big 12 and there is always sweet tea.
2. I like having the internet in my house finally. It is nice to be able to do the things you do with the internet, but I still find myself at Starbucks because I am a bit more focused when there is no cable television, no cleaning and no napping to be done. Also, there’s the cute boy and the free tea.
3. I like my public administration class. It’s a topic that I’m interested in, the class is interesting and the professor is hot. He’s too old for me, but if I can have a hand in helping out my cousin Vicki, then so be it.
4. I like my front loading washing machine. It’s nice to watch the clothes spin round and round.
5. I like walking into church and meeting friendly people who are kind enough to invite me to lunch and talk with me. I know that it’s hard to be friendly at church, and with my current religious predicament, I am thankful for the kindness of these people.

There are more than 5 things that I like, but for now, I have a giant pile of reading to do and since the Arkansas game is televised this weekend, I obviously won’t be doing it on Saturday evening. For now, 5 is enough and this exercise was enough to remind me of some things that I needed to be reminded of.

Something I like

Free tea at Starbucks… and the cute guy that gave it to me.

Some Things I Don’t Like

Today’s blog is about some things I don’t like. I know I promised not to air grievances anymore, but this is my blog and I reserve the right to recant my original proposals and so I am. Here’s a list of some things:

1. The tap water is nasty here and cannot be masked with Crystal Light or Tea.
2. It is windy. It is windy all the time and there are no trees to block this wind and my hair constantly looks and feels terrible.
3. One of my neighbors has his chimney covered up with a lot of plastic. With the copious amounts of wind here, this plastic blows, usually when I am coming in after dark, resulting in a scary movie sound and ultimately scaring the crap out of me.
4. Reading textbooks. We have, on average, about 200-300 pages of assigned reading a week. Seriously. That is not a made up number. It is a for real number. It is a big number and they are all in big, hard textbooks that require much thought processing.
5. Not yet having internet in my apartment. I am tired of going to Starbucks. As yet I have managed to not purchase a pastry, but my resolve is weakening.

Those are enough things. I promise an overly Pollyanna-esque post tomorrow to make up for today’s inappropriately whiny post.

First Sunday

Today, out of necessity, I visited my first congregation as a single person in a new (giant) city. Despite its location less than a mile from my condo, I managed to be slightly late. I forced myself to go to Sunday School rather than simply slipping in for worship and slipping out without being noticed.

I selected Quail Springs Church for my first congregation. Despite being late to Sunday School, there was a very nice man at the door who showed me where to go to class, asked me a few questions about myself and made sure there were people in the class before leaving me in the room. Once there, I was momentarily afraid that I was going to stick out like a sore thumb, feel very awkward and have to run far far away. This was not the case. The teachers, an older married couple, made mention that I was new, asked me to introduce myself to the group and had the group introduce themselves to me. They managed to accomplish this all without making me feel very awkward or, for lack of a better word, new. I’m going to have to learn their tactics.

Sunday school was not your typical Sunday school in that we didn’t have a lesson, but instead one of the elders told us about his background. While not a formal lesson, it was a wonderful learning experience for me and I was thankful for that. Once class was over, several people introduced themselves to me and made sure to invite me to their small group outing that evening.

After class and introductions to some people, a few of the people from the singles class graciously allowed me to follow them to worship service and sit with them and then after worship made sure to invite me to their group again.

I really enjoyed the worship. It felt like Crosswalk and it was nice to have a bit of home in the middle of a city where I know virtually nothing. The sermon was on baptism and rather than taking the typical church of Christ tack, it was instead about what baptism means and the copious amounts of grace involved in the transaction. All in all, it was a good experience. While I’m not completely sold on Quail Springs, which may be due to my own particularly heavy dose of cautiousness in most things, it was a wonderful first church in a new, big city.

All the Free Time in the World

So it turns out, I hate having free time. All the way through the past three years I thought it would be fantastic to have a few days to just do whatever I wanted. Well, it’s not fantastic. It would not be fantastic if I had money either, so don’t make that assumption. I need to feel the pressure of a deadline. I like being busy. It turns out that hanging out and going with the flow are not things I’m particularly talented at. Perhaps that’s what God is teaching me right now. Perhaps I’m going to chew my leg off while learning that lesson because having this idle time is driving me batty (or perhaps battier).

I’m going to leave my comfy corner at Starbucks (where the internet is free) now and go create something to do. That something will likely involve framing pictures for my house and putting together bookcases so that my books have a home and my desk stops looking like Barnes and Noble threw up on it.

As a parting gift to you, weigh in on color suggestions for my kitchen, dining and living rooms. The sherbet has got to go.

Unpacked

It was a long car trip. 6.5 hours in the car with a moderately frightened cat, way too much stuff, relay bathroom breaks and the fortunate find of a Braum’s in Sallisaw, OK with an outdoor eating area that allowed us all, cat included (in her carrier of course) to get some fresh air and some lunch.

After a few more hours in the car, we arrived at my condo. It’s bright, clean and large. And painted in sherbet colors. Orange sherbet in the kitchen; lime sherbet in the dining room.

We, including my Great Aunt-Janis who is in her late 70s, unloaded my things from the trailer. And unloaded. And unloaded until they were finally all indoors. Then we started unpacking. I’m proud to say that by the time my parents left on Wednesday evening (my extremely helpful and generous parents) everything was unpacked but my books.

Thus far I have spent all of my spare time with my family, but I’m sure that will change this weekend. This weekend I will try a new church, make myself attend Sunday school at said new church and begin my search for community in my new city.

Coming attractions: photos of both the home AND a photo tour of Super Target.

Festivus… For the Rest of Us

On the long running sitcom Seinfeld, there is a character named George Costanza.  Among the many features of George are a strange relationship with a set of odd parents.  In one episode, we learn that George’s father, Frank Costanza, has invented a holiday which he calls Festivus.  Festivus is apparently for “the rest of us,” whoever those people might be.  There are many features to Festivus, which include, but are not limited to, the Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.

I was all set to make a blogpost about my own personal, often lengthy, list of pet peeves.  I have quite a few and most of them are things that of course (except not really) things that I would never dream of doing myself.  I felt as though I was in a perfect position to do it too, as this has been a long week, filled with the making of some difficult decisions, an ear infection that I cannot afford to get treated, some other medical problems that might offend the sensibilities of some and so will not be posted here, several tests in my summer classes, and a whole litany of other things that have made this a difficult week.  However, despite my huge desire to Air Grievances, it doesn’t seem fruitful.  Sure, I could rail on and on about the lack of the use of turn signals, or people who think that it’s totally OK to stop in Wal-Mart, take up the entire aisle and talk and talk to your friend as though the rest of us don’t want to actually do our grocery shopping.  And, as is apparent, I cannot resist doing that just a little.

But it’s not prudent.  More than not prudent, it’s not righteous.  And along the same lines as not righteous, it’s not beneficial.  In Phillipians 4, the apostle Paul writes of speaking only of those things that are “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy.”  There’s significant merit to this.  Yes, there are things that are more than pet peeves in my life.  Yes, there are things that are simply annoyances, but seemingly ever present annoyances.  I’m learning (and if you know me in real life you know that this is a painfully slow process) that it doesn’t help to air your grievances.  Talk about your problems with a close friend?  Absolutely.  Whine about slow drivers and late professors?  Not helpful.

No post of mine would be complete without some science.  According to the Mayo Clinic, having a positive outlook has such fantastic health benefits as longer life span, decreased increase of cardiovascular disease and greater resistance to the common cold.  Read article here http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009

Because of these benefits, I believe that I’m done with the airing of grievances, to the best of my ability, at least.

Perspective

I read a lot.  I read fiction and non-fiction.  I read the news, I read science journals and articles, I read cookbooks and I read fluff magazines.  Most often, my favorite things to read are works that do one of two things: teach me something I didn’t already know that is useful to me and my life, or the people in my life or make me feel good.  I don’t like to read things that are upsetting as a general rule.  It genuinely bothers me that there are still  people out there that don’t agree with me.  After all, I’m completely right all the time and it makes total sense that everyone should see things my way.  (For those of you who cannont manage to assume sarcasm on this blog, which I might add bewilders me, here’s  a hint: That last statement was facetious.)

It has occured to me that the reason for selecting to read the things I read is simply a matter of perspective.  Generally speaking, I do not have a hard life, nor have I ever had a hard life.  Some awful things have happened to me, but they were largely short-lived and solvable.  I like to read things that reiterate this fact. I do not like things to be hard.  By that same token, I don’t like to read political pieces, as a general rule, that disagree with me.  I like knowing that there are other people that feel the way I do and have taken the time to articulate their (read: my) points of view.

Because of enjoying the sensation of feeling good about myself and my views, I tend to shy away from opposing viewpoints.  So much of this is because when people have an opposing point of view, and this is from both sides, their general argument is to make some statement about how “So and so doesn’t know what they are talking about because they are young, poor, rich, spoiled, etc .”  (There are other adjectives you could use.  Please fill them in if you wish.)  This is not conducive to the exchange of ideas and the intellectual growth of individuals.

So what to do?  So often I simply shy away from discussions with people who see things differently than I do because I’ve been burned so many times.  It’s possible, and perhaps even probable that you will not call me names or fail to listen to my point of view.  It’s even possible that instead of asking me questions and failing to give me the chance to answer them, that you will listen and even if you don’t agree, engage in intelligent, logical discourse with me.  It’s not something that I have seen happen particularly often though, so it’s hard to find the energy to attempt the conversations.

However, I like understanding people.  I like knowing why they feel the way they feel about things and I like knowing the reasons they have for believing as they do.  I don’t think it’s wise to only surround yourself and read things written by those who you already know agree with you.  However, I also don’t think it prudent to engage in heated arguments, name calling and false discourse with people who, and I have been guilty of this too, are simply throwing insults, engaging in name calling and flinging stereotypes like they were found in 3/$1 bin at the Dollar Tree.  How do we resolve this?  Ideally, we learn that we are to be people first, people who are kind to others, who realize that we simply cannot exist without others on this planet and politicians second.  In my case, I am to be a Christian first and all other things after that.  In the case of many people who read my blog, you are to be Christians first and all other things second.  Short of that, do we elect to never engage in arguments with people?  Do we set ground rules and then end the conversation if those rules aren’t followed?  Do we simply surround ourselves with like-minded people and ideas?  Do we engage in arguments and forcefully try to impress our ideas on other people?  Do we publish blog posts that are vitriolic and poorly supported?  I’m asking because I want some answers.  I love learning things.  In the rare instances that I have had conversations about politcs and religion with people who were kind when we discussed them, I have learned things.  I have even changed my beliefs on some things.  But I’m just as guilty of being the name caller and the over-talker as anyone else.  So, how do we resolve things?

New Blog

In the interest of being a bit transparent about weight loss and fitness, I’ve started another blog, that, in all probability will get updated more than this.  It will not, however, be as interesting.  The URL is kristisweightloss.wordpress.com