About once a week Stephen and I have this conversation:

Kristi: “What are you doing? Didn’t you know we were going to ______________ at ___________ time? Why are you eating cheese?”

Stephen: “No, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?” (keeps eating cheese)

Kristi: “I did tell you. I was sitting in my chair wearing my pink dress and you were sitting on the couch wearing your brown corduroy shorts and your Norm t-shirt. And when I told you, you said, ‘Oh. Ok. That sounds fun. We should see if the ________ want to go to.”

Stephen: “I don’t think you told me.”

Kristi: “Well, you know now, so stop eating cheese.”

I always hear that women are cagey, and they drop subtle hints, and they beat around the bush and that’s why men can’t understand them. May I submit to you that perhaps the reason men can’t understand women is because they don’t listen? So here are my tips for the day: Men, learn to listen. Women, start writing important information on your naked body. You’re guaranteed that will get noticed.


*This was intended to be humorous. I promise.*


New Installment?




I don’t know if I ever started doing this, or just thought about doing this, but I think I’d like to write about things I was told I would understand when I got married. I’ll start with the first one:


“You’ll understand how hard it is to manage money when you get married.”


Seriously? Seriously? People actually said this to me. Lots of different, completely unrelated people said this to me at different times of my adult, single life. Guess what? I wasn’t exactly getting home from the office, putting on my sailor’s jacket, and diving around in my piles of money, a la Scrooge McDuck when I was single. In reality, I find it easier to manage money married than I do single. For one, we make more. For two, I’ve got someone to discuss money with, and to remind me that maybe I don’t need the 837th pair of Old Navy flip-flops.. And for three, I’ve got someone to work toward financial goals with.


Stay tuned next week for installment the second: “You’ll understand __________ when you get married.”

Couch to 5K Update


This is a little sad. I did one day of week one. And had actual joint pain. I think. It was by and large only when I was actually running, so I may be able to suck it up and ignore it. I was also extremely sore. It seemed a little incongruous to match up that level of soreness and pain with the fact that I’ve been spending 35 minutes on the elliptical 4-5 mornings a week for two months. Perhaps I can’t run? Perhaps I’m a weenie? Perhaps I’m taking suggestions? (For those of you at home plotting advice, know that from a cardiovascular standpoint the intensity was not particularly more than when I’m on the elliptical. I go really fast on the elliptical.)

Seriously though, I’d love love love to complete the program and be an actual runner. In the meantime, I’m going to continue going to the gym, and doing things that don’t hurt me. Sore is one thing. I think I had some actual pain though. And since I can’t repeat it by doing anything other than running, it would seem to me that the obvious solution is stop running and do something else that doesn’t hurt it. That is all.

Honey Lime Chicken Enchiladas


As promised, you get food, not running for your next post.

I found this recipe right here. Naturally I made some modifications though. Some of them were on purpose. Some of them were because I made a potentially critical error and failed to read the recipe all the way through.

I reduced the amount of cheese. We still loved it with only 8 oz of cheese instead of a full pound. I also accidentally forgot to do the part where you mix the cream with sour cream and the remaining enchilada sauce before you pour it over the top of the rolled tortillas. While I still loved it with the deletion of the cream and sour cream, I feel like it would be even more tasty, so I’m going to try to remember to do that next time. And finally, I used red enchilada sauce instead of green because that’s what I had. I wish I had a picture, but we scarfed it down really quickly. Because of this, you’re just getting words and an admonishment to make this recipe ASAP. It was delicious. I’ll post pictures next time I make, which will probably be soon.

I’m also considering making it with pork instead of chicken, or maybe black beans to healthy it up a little. Any other suggestions?

Couch to 5K


I’m a little behind. I feel like everyone I know has done this program, can easily run 5K, and I’m still kicking it on the elliptical. I’m kind of over that, and I haven’t been so hot at showing up to the gym to use the elliptical anyway, so I’ve decided to kick off my Couch to 5K journey today. If I were really in the business of being transparent, I’d post my starting weight and measurements on the ‘ol blog, but I just can’t bring myself to do that. Instead, suffice it to say that I’m not exactly skinny and the rubbing of my thighs might set-off a fire in the Tech Intramural Center this afternoon.

I’m going to go at it on a treadmill. I know that running outdoors is better, but I live in Louisiana and even in May it’s already well over 90 when I get off work. And I realize that getting up and doing it in the mornings would be cooler, but I think we all know that just isn’t going to happen. I am, however, going to do the distance version rather than the time version. I’d hate to get to the end of the program, find out that I’d run 30 minutes and only be at 1.75 miles or something.

And I’m going to keep you all posted. Aside from a two week period of time where I fell completely off the wagon, I’ve been careful with my eating, and therefore have been losing weight slowly but surely, but it’s time to change up my work-out and step things up a bit. And it’s time to make up for the period of time I fell off the wagon.


And don’t worry: the post after this is going to contain some words about my new favorite recipe. It has cheese. And honey.



And Then There Was Vacation


So I haven’t blogged in 87 years. Let’s just ignore that and talk all about my fabulous vacation.


We went to New Orleans last Wednesday. I worked all day. (And by “worked” I mean, “ate puppy chow at my desk and watched Diane Keaton movies on my iPad,” but let’s not get too specific.) And then I got in the car, drove to Alexandria, picked up my husband, and then happily relinquished the driver’s seat. And then we drove to Diamondhead, MS (which is not New Orleans), stayed up for awhile talking to Adam and Erika, who we love, and then fell asleep. Also, Stephen got to see his BFF Gus, Adam and Erika’s aged Shih Tzu.

On Thursday, there was coffee!, lunch, outlet mall-ing, packing, and then driving into New Orleans. To spend one night at the Motel 6 extended stay. It was a really special hotel room. There were no pictures. There was just thankfulness that we were only there for one night. Then we got ready and headed into the city for dinner at a fancy restaurant.



There we are at our fancy dinner. We had a groupon. Dinner was tasty and the company was better. I actually fixed my hair and put on jewelry and eye make-up. It was a big deal.

Then we got coffee at Cafe du Monde and went back to our ghetto fabulous hotel. It was special. And in the middle of the night the air conditioner started making the worst noise in the world.

In the morning we got up and drove to Metarie. I had a groupon for a massage, so while I got the best massage of my life (to date, but I’m willing to continue sampling massage therapists to make sure that she was the best), Stephen played around on the internet in a coffee shop down the way. We headed into New Orleans proper, parked the car, and ate lunch at a restaurant on Magazine Street: Juan’s Flying Burrito. It was so good. We split the Jerk Nachos. And we drank really cold beer.

Don’t those look amazing?

After that, we wandered around some more on Magazine street, I had to use the restroom emergently and nearly cried, and then we headed back into the French Quarter to park our car and check in at our hotel.

This hotel was way more spiffy. Thanks to our friend Mike and his special AT&T rate at the Crowne Plaza, we got to stay there. It was beautiful and quiet and beautiful. And walking distance to everywhere. We checked in, rested a bit, and then Mike and Jordan got into town. That first night we went to dinner at Acme Oysterhouse. It’s good every time. Admittedly I’ve only been twice, but it was delicious every time. The bread pudding is amazing.

There we are outside of Acme Oysterhouse. To say the line is long is an understatement. But my escort was cute.

Then we played around on Bourbon Street for awhile. Stephen and I had a small conniption fit over the price of drinks, and then we went back to the hotel, slept, got up and got ready for breakfast.

Breakfast was at the Magnolia Grill. The food was delicious. The service was impossibly slow, and because of that, I would have a hard time reccommending it. But if you’ve got two hours for breakfast, go for it. It was good food after all.

Saturday lunch was what we were actually in town for. Our friends Chris and Kristen, groomsman and bridesmaid in our wedding, helped us move, threw us a stock the bar shower, and had been dating for SEVEN years, were getting engaged. However, Kristen didn’t know that. We all gathered at Sucre, a fabulous sweet shop in Metarie, donned Mexican wear (it was Cinco de Mayo), and waited.

And then she walked in. And then she freaked out. And then Chris got down on one knee and she realized what was happening. And then she said yes. And we were all very glad because it was a long drive to New Orleans.

That evening consisted of more of the same: dinner, Bourbon Street, fun times. The next morning we got up, drove back to Diamondhead because I had left our iPad at Adam and Erika’s, and then we got to go to church with them. This is a rare treat for us these days. I’d say going to church and sitting with my husband was the best part of our trip.

All in all, it was an excellent vacation. We had a lot of fun, some of our friends finally got engaged, and we got to worship together. It was totally worth it.

Pinterest, Volume 2


It’s time for another installment of things I’ve pinned and loved, and things I’ve pinned and been rather unimpressed with. I think we’ll start with the duds and end on a good note.

1. Creamy Chicken Lasagna I was not so impressed with this. I found it bland, boring, and skimpy. Stephen liked it, but it was a giant stack of cardboard, so I figured he’d eat it happily. Besides, he didn’t have to cook it. Basically, it wasn’t worth the calories for the meager serving size. I’m definitely not making it again.

2. Martha Stewart’s Tub Scrub So not worth the effort. Borax is cheaper, works better, and doesn’t involve mixing a bunch of stuff up. And, you can use it for other things besides cleaning the bathroom.

Here are some things I’ve LOVED from Pinterest since we last discussed pins:

1. Homemade Pita Bread So, I decided to follow this recipe to make pita bread from scratch. It was easy, delicious, and while slightly more caloric than store-bought pita bread, probably healthier. It doesn’t have tons of preservatives, and it doesn’t taste like cardboard. I used the dough hook on the Kitchenaid for most of the kneading, but it’s easy enough to do by hand. And I would imagine that if you had bigger kids, you could definitely get them involved with the kneading of the bread dough.

2. Yeast Rolls in 30 Minutes Ok, it actually took me more like 35 minutes. However, these were SO EASY. And delicious. They’re not the best bread I’ve ever had in my life, but for 35 minutes, very minimal kneading, and made out of things I generally have on hand, they were excellent. Actually, they were excellent even without those caveats. And I made a second batch with some rosemary and some roasted garlic paste mixed in. Those were excellent too.

3. DIY Roman Shades I made these. They were easy, and they worked well. The only problems I had were user-error, and that was my fault. I didn’t buy enough material for two and I hot-glued myself. I can’t really blame that on the tutorial creator. That being said, eventually I will make more. It only took me about an hour to make one, and that was with a huge learning curve.

Basically, I love pinterest. I hope these reviews help you out. And I hope to be more regular with this blog feature.

Women and Cats


Every morning I take a shower, put on my bathrobe, and blow dry my hair. Every morning, this is what I see in the bathroom doorway:

Jersey. Looking terribly perturbed at the sound of my hair dryer. Couldn’t she just not sit so close? We have a 1300 square foot house and she’s allowed to go anywhere except the kitchen counters and on the dining table.

Cats are so weird.

P.S. Bonus points if you know where the title of this post comes from.

On The Lam



I’ve got a story for you today. It’s a true story. It really happened.

Monday, November 14th, 2011 I was driving my boss and me to lunch. This was after a delightful trip to a discount store to purchase Christmas trees. As I drive through an intersection, I’m blindsided by an SUV. Everyone is fine, insurance is exchanged, and I walk away shaken up and a bit angry because I received a ticket for failing to have my driver’s license on my person.

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011: I call the Monroe City Clerk to find out how much my fine is with the intention of paying it that day. I’m informed that I cannot pay it, that I must attend court on my assigned court date of Wednesday December 28th, 2011. I leave my office, sit in court for a few hours while this transpires.

Judge: “Kristi Greene, you’ve been charged with failure to have your driver’s license on your person. How do you wish to please?”

Kristi: “Guilty, Your Honor. I didn’t have my license and I wish to pay the fine and go about my day.”

Judge: “Because this was an accident, I’d like to make sure that you have a letter of restitution in place demonstrating that your insurance company has paid everyone involved. You have until March 7th to do this. If you get this in, the prosecutor’s will likely amend your charge and you can settle out of court with no need to reappear in the court room.”

Kristi: “Alright Your Honor. I’ll change my plea to not guilty and get that letter in.”


March 2nd, 2012: I meet with prosecutors at my appointed time, letter of restitution in hand. Bear in mind, of course, that this is the second time I’ve had to take off work for what is a non-moving violation. The prosecutors tell me that they will not be amending my charge and that I need to pay the fine. I proceed to the Cashier’s desk, cash in hand, in order to pay my fine and be through with the entire matter. The cashier and subsequently the judge’s clerk inform me that I am unable to simply plead guilty out of court and pay the fine because the ticket is associated with an accident. I’m informed that I must attend court on Wednesday, March 7th, 2012.

March 7th, 2012: I arrive in the court room. I find out that the two women who were also involved in the accident were subpoenaed as witnesses in my case. These means that they have also been required to take time off work. In Monroe City Court, the docket is read, defendants are required to answer to their names being read, there is a short recess, and then trials begin. My name is called, I inform the court that I am present and then the rest of the docket is read. During the recess, the prosecutor calls my name. I walk to her podium. She asks me if I have a driver’s license; I present her with my license, she records something in my file, comments kindly on my organ donor status, and then sends me back to my seat. When court is back in session, my name is eventually called and the prosecutor tells me that the charges have been dismissed and that I am free to go.


The morals of the story? I know what’s wasting Monroe city taxpayer money and ALWAYS have your driver’s license on you. Otherwise you’ll be subjected to three court appearances during working hours.

In reality, I’m extremely thankful that I ended up not owing anything. I love it when I don’t have to spend money on things that are no fun.



Today, a list of things that confound me.

1. Being totally amenable to the war in Iraq/Iran/Afghanistan, which involved taking over another country, killing their citizens, and deposing their leaders, and yet unwilling to make an effort to find a spouse.

2. Being opposed to abortion but in favor of the death penalty.

3. Calling yourself a Christian and yet acting cruelly to people who aren’t just like you.

4. Swearing faith in God, but making sure you’ve hedged your bets.

5. Wanting to be a good Christian woman, but wearing clothes that leave virtually nothing to the imagination.

6. Calling yourself a good wife, but belittling your husband.

7. Knowing my sin, but dying for me anyway.

8. Knowing my past, but being my friend in the present and future.

9. Wanting to lose weight, but making cookies anyway.

10. Insisting that you believe that God is the boss, the ultimate authority, and the keeper of the kingdom, and pledging allegiance to the flag anyway.

I didn’t mean these to attack anyone. Many of them are things I struggle with. However, many of them are things I see in our churches that I find absolutely astonishing in light of scripture.