This Wednesday, my husband left to go out-of-town till Friday. I was feeling a bit homesick, so I texted a friend of mine who was feeling a bit trapped in her house with a toddler and a newborn. We decided that today we would commiserate and that tomorrow we would do something about it. So tonight, to honor Crystal, I had a dinner that consisted of Cadbury Mini-Eggs, Woo Pig Chewy ice cream, and red wine. Rex Goliath Pinot Noir if you’re interested in that sort of thing.
And then, I did something else. This afternoon, my boss let me leave work early to go to the beauty college to get my hair cut and colored. Well, by the time I arrived at the beauty college with the requisite cash in hand, they were closed. I was not deterred, however. I simply traveled to Wal-Mart, purchased a box of Garnier Nutriesse hair color in “Darkest Brown,” and then drove home, where I proceeded to have a glass of wine, some mini eggs, and some ice cream.
And then the hair procedure began.
That’s the Before picture of my hair color. Yes, I touched up my makeup. No, you can’t tell. Yes, the lighting in our house is really that bad. No, we’re not going to live here forever.
I feel compelled to tell you, dear blog readers, that I took a picture of during, but it’s utterly disgusting and will not be shown to the public. Or my husband.
And now, we discuss the procedure. First, you put on the gloves, making sure you tear one of them a little. With your engagement ring because you’re too daft to take it off. Secondly, you pop the top off the applicator on the developer bottle. Then, you add the creme hair color to the developer and then you add the conditioning avocado oil to the bottle. After that, you shake the bottle vigorously in order to mix the contents. Finally, apply hair color to the head, making sure to saturate the hair and to apply it evenly. Then you wait. I should’ve used the time to price items for the Dave Ramsey yard sale on Saturday, but instead I watched Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix.
And then comes the rinsing part. Oh, and the part where you realized you’ve gotten droplets of hair dye all over your bathroom and that, unrelated, but no less annoying, your tweezers have left rust marks on the mediocre Formica in your bathroom. So you turn on some water, apply a bit, work the hair dye into a lather and then proceed to rinse your head for approximately 87 years until the water runs clear. Seriously, I’m now an octogenarian. Then, you apply this conditioner stuff, wait two more minutes and then “Style as usual.”
There’s the after. It’s now Darkest Brown. I think I like it. Either way, it’s just hair color and it won’t last forever.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the best way to have a pity party and then color your hair.
*No, I don’t know why this photo is not centered. I don’t care that much.